She....
She... maybe the face i can't forget... maybe my pleasure or regret....
How true....
She controls my emotion, my life and my thinkings. I worry for her, miss her, care for her and think of her almost all of my free times.....
She is just another next door girl, innocent and demure. Her smiles melt anything under the sun and i just find all my efforts worthwhile just to see her happy. She loves to be pampered. Who could bear let her suffer any pain afterall? She is quick tempered and emotional. She can't take much stress. Why should she? Let me handle all the stress while she enjoys. I loved her with all my might, and really... i just can't lose her.
I really loved her with my whole heart. Its quite amazing how she transformed me, and from the first day our love starts evolving, it grew way of my control now. I couldn't really control myself on issues about her now. Sometimes my love turns into possession. I sometimes just want to own her. But, she needs those open type of love, where she just wants love to be behind her, but not obstructing anything she is doing. She wants to feel loved, she needs my attention and my love at crucial moments. However, sometimes i just cannot seems to control myself, giving her more stress rather and taking the stress away from her. Perhaps, giving too much might just cause imbalance on the lever, only exerting extra force on the other side.
I have been trying now, sorting out what to say and what not to say, so as not to pressure her. I have been in her shoes before. Yes, i am hurt by how things are today. But all she needs now is time. i have all the confidence that i am the ultimate one. So sometimes when we are talking on the phone, we are tongue tied. On one hand, i hoped to ask her everything under the sun, but sometimes too much questions would irritate her as my probing always never fail to give her more weight. She is tired from all the stress that things are today. She herself needs space to sort it out. Hence, no doubt at times i may probe too much, but most of the time, i am really controlling myself not to probe, even sometimes i feel like calling her, i have to hold back. Because i know i would constantly be giving her unknown and invisible pressure, like what i did earlier before now.
She is just so her. She lacks of confident at times and she needs assurance from people around her. Its not really her fault because she is so active, attractive, bubbly and energetic that sometimes, its draws unwanted attraction. Her innocent and untainted mind of hers would treat all approaches as how she used to treat her secondary school friends. She just failed to realise that adults and the world of children is quite a bit different. Nonetheless, she is learning now. Sometimes i wished that i could cushion her fall, wipe her tears and comfort her. But really, sometimes protecting her could mean harming her. She is matured enough now, and sometimes giving her instructions would mean despising her ability to handle her own life. So even though i risk losing her and enduring the pain myself, i allowed her to fall, at least i know that i am beside her should she really need any support to get up.
She loves me, she cares for me. Her love towards me is uncomparable and her heart is really with me. Its just that her love now is not shown as clearly as before, for there is a sudden increase of load of new found responsibilities that she needs to assume at this part of life. There is some changes in both our life now. We are bothing trying to adapt to working life. Perhaps army had created a platform for me to transform towards it easier, and that i can handle stress better. Hence, it would seems that i doesn't have much stress, and is taking it easier than her. I really hate to trouble her when she already has so much to worry, especially now.
She... is really what i would want to have for the rest of my life.
She is my happiness, my sadness, my anger, my pain, my hope, my goal, my desire and what i am going to fight for. She will be what i will be waiting for........
She....
How true....
She controls my emotion, my life and my thinkings. I worry for her, miss her, care for her and think of her almost all of my free times.....
She is just another next door girl, innocent and demure. Her smiles melt anything under the sun and i just find all my efforts worthwhile just to see her happy. She loves to be pampered. Who could bear let her suffer any pain afterall? She is quick tempered and emotional. She can't take much stress. Why should she? Let me handle all the stress while she enjoys. I loved her with all my might, and really... i just can't lose her.
I really loved her with my whole heart. Its quite amazing how she transformed me, and from the first day our love starts evolving, it grew way of my control now. I couldn't really control myself on issues about her now. Sometimes my love turns into possession. I sometimes just want to own her. But, she needs those open type of love, where she just wants love to be behind her, but not obstructing anything she is doing. She wants to feel loved, she needs my attention and my love at crucial moments. However, sometimes i just cannot seems to control myself, giving her more stress rather and taking the stress away from her. Perhaps, giving too much might just cause imbalance on the lever, only exerting extra force on the other side.
I have been trying now, sorting out what to say and what not to say, so as not to pressure her. I have been in her shoes before. Yes, i am hurt by how things are today. But all she needs now is time. i have all the confidence that i am the ultimate one. So sometimes when we are talking on the phone, we are tongue tied. On one hand, i hoped to ask her everything under the sun, but sometimes too much questions would irritate her as my probing always never fail to give her more weight. She is tired from all the stress that things are today. She herself needs space to sort it out. Hence, no doubt at times i may probe too much, but most of the time, i am really controlling myself not to probe, even sometimes i feel like calling her, i have to hold back. Because i know i would constantly be giving her unknown and invisible pressure, like what i did earlier before now.
She is just so her. She lacks of confident at times and she needs assurance from people around her. Its not really her fault because she is so active, attractive, bubbly and energetic that sometimes, its draws unwanted attraction. Her innocent and untainted mind of hers would treat all approaches as how she used to treat her secondary school friends. She just failed to realise that adults and the world of children is quite a bit different. Nonetheless, she is learning now. Sometimes i wished that i could cushion her fall, wipe her tears and comfort her. But really, sometimes protecting her could mean harming her. She is matured enough now, and sometimes giving her instructions would mean despising her ability to handle her own life. So even though i risk losing her and enduring the pain myself, i allowed her to fall, at least i know that i am beside her should she really need any support to get up.
She loves me, she cares for me. Her love towards me is uncomparable and her heart is really with me. Its just that her love now is not shown as clearly as before, for there is a sudden increase of load of new found responsibilities that she needs to assume at this part of life. There is some changes in both our life now. We are bothing trying to adapt to working life. Perhaps army had created a platform for me to transform towards it easier, and that i can handle stress better. Hence, it would seems that i doesn't have much stress, and is taking it easier than her. I really hate to trouble her when she already has so much to worry, especially now.
She... is really what i would want to have for the rest of my life.
She is my happiness, my sadness, my anger, my pain, my hope, my goal, my desire and what i am going to fight for. She will be what i will be waiting for........
She....
posted by sharon_alvin at 8:49 AM
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