Happiness....
I am feeling quite light these few days, as many things that is bugging me seems to be settled one by one... like our renovation, wedding bands, our flat application and lastly exam is finally over. Suddenly feel myself floating again and i simply enjoy this over the air feeling.....
Met my seconday school classmates today and felt that we have grown up. Our topics changed and we chatted a lot... had to call it a day as its getting too late.... But when told abt my weddings, they were all shocked... And i agree with what Juanne said... that i dared and spontaneously took up such a responsibility....
Things weren't as smooth as what i imagined and we had to entertain to many more factors now, and definitely not as simple minded affair anymore... that's the part that i hate.... I won't be able to be myself and enjoy....
Whatever it is... i am prepared to go through these... for i am going to marry a girl whom i loved so much....
But maybe i was wrong all these while... i am beginning to doubt am i as important to her like she is as important to me....
Does she take our relationship and me as serious as how i take....
Maybe i am just too sensitive and want too much from her.....
I hope I am right...
But in her mind there is still somebody.... there is still this unclosed chapter... and she is still bothered with this guy....
In that world of the 2 guys.... i am never in it.... i don't know why.... i feel that she seems to show that we both are so unhappy with each other.... but i feel like telling her if i am in the picture... there won't be anymore allowance for others to make advances.... i feel like telling her to put me into the picture....
but i can't.....
because that would be so artificial.... that would have been so forced... anything forced won't last...
so i hope she will understand one day and wished that she would pride my love for her like how i pride her for being my lovely fiancee.... when u can show others that u are madly in love with one person.... nobody else will try anything funny.... if u show u are faithful... nobody will take u lightly.....
Hope all these go away.... and i hope i am not forcing anything.... because if i am forcing something.... i hope someone can tell me to stop... and i would... because i love her.....
Met my seconday school classmates today and felt that we have grown up. Our topics changed and we chatted a lot... had to call it a day as its getting too late.... But when told abt my weddings, they were all shocked... And i agree with what Juanne said... that i dared and spontaneously took up such a responsibility....
Things weren't as smooth as what i imagined and we had to entertain to many more factors now, and definitely not as simple minded affair anymore... that's the part that i hate.... I won't be able to be myself and enjoy....
Whatever it is... i am prepared to go through these... for i am going to marry a girl whom i loved so much....
But maybe i was wrong all these while... i am beginning to doubt am i as important to her like she is as important to me....
Does she take our relationship and me as serious as how i take....
Maybe i am just too sensitive and want too much from her.....
I hope I am right...
But in her mind there is still somebody.... there is still this unclosed chapter... and she is still bothered with this guy....
In that world of the 2 guys.... i am never in it.... i don't know why.... i feel that she seems to show that we both are so unhappy with each other.... but i feel like telling her if i am in the picture... there won't be anymore allowance for others to make advances.... i feel like telling her to put me into the picture....
but i can't.....
because that would be so artificial.... that would have been so forced... anything forced won't last...
so i hope she will understand one day and wished that she would pride my love for her like how i pride her for being my lovely fiancee.... when u can show others that u are madly in love with one person.... nobody else will try anything funny.... if u show u are faithful... nobody will take u lightly.....
Hope all these go away.... and i hope i am not forcing anything.... because if i am forcing something.... i hope someone can tell me to stop... and i would... because i love her.....
posted by sharon_alvin at 12:58 PM
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